Emerging from the Bust/Travels of a Snob

The International Hotel, where I have been staying, is a grey, shabby three story hotel. There is a great Cantonese restaurant in the lobby. Outside the entrance is a bizarre, larger-than-life-size statue of a happy Black Sambo sitting on a bench holding a bottle of Heineken. There is one computer in the lobby with internet access (fairly fast), and it costs 5000 dong (about 35 cents) for 30 minutes.

A junior suite here costs $140, according to the rate sheet next to my bed. I am paying $35. That “official” high price is still a hangover from Vietnam’s bubble, ten years ago, a friend told me. That’s when foreign businesses rushed in here with the usual overexcitement about emerging economies, throwing money around and jacking up prices . It all burst after the Asian financial crisis (1997/1998), and when foreign businesses realized they couldn't make big profits here, and left. Now I can get this great cheap room in this wacky hotel.

I had lunch the other day with David Lamb, former L.A. Times bureau chief here and the author of “Vietnam Now,” the best book I have found (in English) on Vietnam (the country, not the war), Lamb pointed out to me that big highrise hotels like the Hyatt and the Sheraton – which were left as half-built construction shells after the bubble burst – have now been completed, and open for business. At the top of three super-high highrises that stick up from the Saigon skyline - one reads “Citigroup” Another reads Prudential (insurance), the other, HSBC (the big British bank).  At a the glitzy new Diamond Department Store, wealthy Vietnamese can buy pricey Adidas sneakers with their new HSBC-issued credit cards.

Many people I’ve spoken (not senior officials) want more foreign business in Vietnam. Anything that is linked to foreign business here is shinier, and more efficient (and more expensive). People here want to get rich. And they want the management training.

I have been going (OK I am addicted) to a fabulous spa inside the Omni hotel in Saigon. The massages are superb, lasing more than an hour, and costing $25 to $32, which is outrageous by local standards but fabulous for American or Japanese tourists. The facility is beautiful (wood and lots of plants, great aromas), with jacuzzi, steamroom.  But the service is bumbling. The young girls and guys who work there are sweet beyond belief, incredibly earnest, and caring. But their English is terrible, and there seems to be constant confusion about procedures. When customers (me, or others I’ve watched) have a question or a problem that requires language outside the phrases the staff have learned (like “what kind of massage would you like?” or “where are you from?”), three or four girls come running over trying to understand (often they don’t).

Just as I am getting frustrated, I check myself.  I suppose thick terry cloth bathrobes and steam rooms are new to most Vietnamese, the girls here are so damn kind and so eager to learn. So….debate in the mind of a neurotic traveller…do I lower my standards, and happily accept so-so management, or do I maintain my standards and expect more from Vietnamese who are providing a service, at a higher price, to Westerners? 

Another day, at Highlands Café. I ordered a vegetable and cheddar cheese sandwich. (Note: cheese is not part of the Vietnamese diet.) The sandwich came, and melted over the vegetable was not cheddar cheese but – no bones about it – it was cheese whizzy processed cheese. I tasted it, and it had that gooey tastelessness of cheap fake processed cheese.  I hate processed cheese.

I debated whether or not to swallow it, and not be a picky snobby consumer. But like I said I can’t stand processed cheese, and if the menu says cheddar cheese, even if it only costs 30,000 dong, or about two dollars, I figured if I don’t complain someone else will.  And when Starbucks arrives, if Highland Café doesn’t get its act together it will be flattened.

I called over the waiter and asked “Is this really Cheddar Cheese?” He said yes. I said No it’s not. He insisted it was. I insisted it’s not. This is fake cheese, I explained, gently and politely. The waiter went away and brought back over a plate with a slice of the cheese, "Isn't this Cheddar?" On the plate was a slice of plastic-wrapped processed cheese, exactly the kind I used to unwrap eat with glee when I was six years old and didn’t’ like real cheese.

Then the waiter brought over the whole package, which said “Cheddar” on the label – not “Cheddar flavored,” or “Cheddar inspired” (although I couldn’t detect a whiff of cheddar in my sandwich). The imported fake cheese label just said “Cheddar.” I picked up the package, turned it over, and showed the waiter the tiny-lettered ingredients, which included water and additives and other things.  Perhapas this was his first lesson in misleading product labelling. He said to me, smiling, “oh you are real professional!” which kind of embarrassed me, because I couldn’t tell if he was hiding his irritation under overflattery, or whether he genuinely appreciated my telling him that his café was not service real cheese. (Was I the first person who ever complained about it? There were plenty of other Westerners in the café).

But in the end, I got a really good sandwich – The waiter brought over another kind of cheese and said it was real Gouda. I tasted it, determined it was real Gouda, and in the end I got a real cheese sandwich.

  This pic is from a hotel (the Omni), post spa...

Couldn't resist taking this:   

Comments

[Elaine]

Starbucks? Nothing! Velveeta's the thing!. xxMa

[Jasper]

Do you know that in Vietnam if you send something back in a restaurant/cafe, often the price of that dish gets deducted from the waiter's wages? Calculate this when most people are lucky (very lucky) to earn a million dong or about $70US per month. Yes that is in a month. I am glad that you got your two dollars worth.

[OMIH]

Vietnamese cheddar cheese is processed. To put it another way - if a Mexican visited the USA and sent back his special promotion Mexican Burger at McDonalds because it wasn't really authentic Mexican - would that be acceptable?

[Steve]

Sheesh, I bet they can't wait for you to patronise their establishment again. Poor English? In Vietnam? Heaven forfend.

Still, you must be having a really rough time.

Shame it's not rougher.

[xxx]

You folks are missing the point. Vietnam wants foreigners money and they are trying to cater to Western travellers. There is great Western food in Vietnam, and there is not great Western food in vietnam. If don't think people should look down on Vietnamese people and say "oh poor Vietnamese, we should tolerate lower quality because this is a developing country." Anyone who does that IS patronizing and condescending. Vietnamese are perfectly capable of producing top quality food and service, and if they offer Western food and it isn't good, I think it's perfectly decent of people to politely tell give them customer feedback. What's the point of customer feedback anyway. anyway the next day a really rude foreigner might give them some not so pleasant feedback.

[OMIH]

I think you are missing the point. The fact is - cheddar cheese, and the vast majority of cheese in Vietnam is processed. Cheese is very expensive here. You are not going to get cheddar cheese in Vietnam for two dollars - no chance.

If you're eating in the Hilton or the Metropole and they serve up processed stuff then by all means let them know. But - not in Highland coffee.

[Jessica]

Thanks for your comments and I am sorry to those who found it repugnant. I understand that cheese is 1) expensive and 2) not part of the traditional diet so Vietnamese might not see a big difference between fake and real cheese. I think the issue of one of customer expectation -- Highlands Coffee presents itself as a trendy, fancy cafe -- and most everything else on the menu is fresh and high quality. That's why I don't think the MacDonald's comparison works --though I now realize that Highlands is not the Hilton either. Because of the stylish atmosphere and the rest of the menu, I was surprised when the fake cheese came out (from the label I am pretty sure it was imported, and not made in Vietnam). I pointed it out, the waiter offerred excellent service, he offered an alternative, I accepted it, end of story. Now, if the guy had his pay docked for fixing the order, then I do feel terrible, but I would want to confirm that. Lastly, I don't know why some readers are confusing this one customer service experience with my entire impression of Vietnam. In the two months I have been, here, I have been impressed and amazed by this country. As Vietnam continues to open up, bring in more tourists, and develop its service industry, I am particularly fascinated by new retail establishments and how they are run.

[claudy]

I'm afraid I can't be as gracious as OMIH - from what I've read here you come over as pompous and spoilt.

Typical that you think that the most horrible of all Americana 'Starbucks' would 'hit the spot' in Hanoi. Of course, that's just what Starbucks should do, invade another poor country and propogate its bland, bland god-awful products.

Give me unique and local and quirky at least the locals benefit which is not the case once huge greedy chains like Starbucks infiltrate a local economy and push out small traders.

And it just floors me that people travel to foreign countries and seek out Western food then complain when it is not served right.

Clueless...

[someone who hates people like you]

... you have been travelling in other countries right??-- well lets just compare this with america. is spanish food in america usually going to be better or worse than the spanish food from spain? do you actually think that you'll be able to find american food that is as good in a country on the other side of the earth? sheesh.

and step in france, many people don't even like to deal with the foreigners who don't speak their language, whereas in vietnam, you have people who look up to you and try to please you to their best damn ability. you as s hole.

[someone who hates people like you]

... you have been travelling in other countries right??-- well lets just compare this with america. is spanish food in america usually going to be better or worse than the spanish food from spain? do you actually think that you'll be able to find american food that is as good in a country on the other side of the earth? sheesh.

and step in france, many people don't even like to deal with the foreigners who don't speak their language, whereas in vietnam, you have people who look up to you and try to please you to their best damn ability, which usually is impaired in the knowledge of speaking perfect english. to people different from the likes of you, it's perfectly understandable since their language uses sounds and tones completely different from ours. you as s hole.

[...on the right to distinguish cheese from cheez]

I didn't detect anything in the original article that would smack of snobbery or naivete. It merely seems to me that the author was disappointed not to have received cheddar cheese when, to her understanding, that is exactly what she should have got. And, unless you happen to like "processed cheese" (which, although television might tell you otherwise, is nothing like real cheddar - the way it was made for centuries before they started wrapping up soy, water, food colouring and chemicals in plastic and calling it "cheese"), wouldn't you be disappointed and try to get real cheese if you could? As for accusations of snobbery and racism, I agree with xxx's comment: It would be racist and snobbish to assume that Vietnamese restaurants who cater to Western tastes are somehow incapable of meeting Western standards (which, I might add, are probably not as lofty and unattainable as most Westerners might believe). I appreciated the article.